Wednesday, September 11, 2013

9/11 Tribute

Remembrance of this day has significant meaning in our lives, and not just because of the tragedy that occurred in NY, Pennsylvania and Virginia in 2001. I don't think there is anyone that doesn't remember exactly where they were when they heard or saw the news. I was at work working with patients at an Alcohol and Drug Abuse Center, mornings were the time our women met in groups to talk, share, and process through their addiction. Group ended and I entered my office to hear my messages. I heard Jonathan's voice shaking as he said a plane hit the World Trade Center and as he was talking the second plane hit and I could hear how shook him to his core. He said he wanted to come to my work and for us to go home, he knew we were being attacked after the second plane hit and he was worried about more attacks. I immediately called him and told him that we would be ok and that I had to go tell my patients what had happened. I sat in a recreation room with patients and staff and watched in horror as the news replayed the scenes over and over, and the interviews and footage that continued. I tried to call my parents but the lines were overwhelmed with calls to VA and I could not get through. I signed on to AOL messenger and was able to chat with my mother and get updates on family members that were at the Pentagon. It was as if time stood still and a feeling of helplessness took over. The drive home from that day, full of sadness for all those that perished the innocent men, women and children....the first responders, the heroes, the survivors. I remember how flags were popping up in the days, weeks and months after, our country united, friends and neighbors reaching out to each other and helping strangers. This was my generations "Pearl Harbor", a date that brings heartache, tears as we honor and remember the events. We did not lose anyone in our family, but we had friends we did. This date has so many meanings for us, but it's what occurred a year later, in a doctors office in Greenville that gave us hope. It is where for the first time, we got a glimpse that our pregnancy was solid and my beta numbers were rising. The numbers were so high in fact, I started to wonder if I was carrying multiples. I had taken two pregnancy tests at home, the first one on September 8th. I stumbled into the bathroom bright and early around 6:30AM and saw what appeared to be a faint positive. Surely I was seeing things. I called Jonathan, who was at work, and told him the news. I told him to look at the test when he got home, if he sees two lines then I'll start believing it. You see, I had taken a test the day before, and had a big fat negative. I went online to my chat group for support, and was quickly told that I need an early response test to pick up the hcg hormone that a woman's body puts out when she is pregnant. Silly me, I wasn't aware that were levels of pregnancy tests. So, I went out to buy one of these so called early detection tests and awaited my first mornings sample  Ok, back to Jonathan who comes in from a hard nights work, and crawls into bed. "Did you see the test?" "Um, no.....I forgot....and I've already taken out my contacts" Great, just great.....without his contacts, Jonathan is as blind as a bat...He would never see that line. He got up and went into the bathroom and was back. Silence, I was dying....what did he see??? He curled up behind me and nuzzled my ear and said "Looks like we are going to have a baby!!" Those were the happiest words I could have ever heard.... I also remember I had a dream around that time, it was of me and three other people in a doctors office. I was laying on the table and the doctor was placing the doppler on my belly to hear the heartbeat. There were two other women in the room, but I could never make out their faces. We listened to the whoosh, whoosh sound of the heartbeat generated from the right side of my abdomen, when the focus turned towards the left side of my belly. The doctor said "Do you want to hear the other one?" I sat upright in bed and exclaimed out loud "THE OTHER ONE??!!" It was then that I knew that I was carrying twins. It would be weeks later before our first sonogram would confirm that I was indeed carrying twins. After so many losses and heartache of miscarriages, this day I was renewed with hope. So, you see September 11, 2001 was a great loss for our country.....and September 11, 2002 was the beginning of our family.