Praise the Lord.......I am on my knees in praise and gratitude!! I went in for my follie check up today! The nurse asked how I was feeling and I said I felt bloated and a lot of pressure in my abdomen. I told her I hope that it is my follicles and not gas!! When the resident and the doctor came in I jokingly said that when my husband asked me what I wanted for Valentine's Day, I told him a dozen mature eggs!! Well, we don't have a dozen but we've got a lot of good sized eggies. My doctor said I have the "three musketeers" on the right side with other smaller ones that could come into play and on my left (yes the MIA ovary) has two good sized one as well. My largest one is on my left size and is 21!! I could see all my follies like quarter sized on the screen. I am so happy. the Doctor looked up and said "you are going to trigger tonight!" I couldn't believe it. I am always the last to trigger since I respond so poorly and slowly. I take my trigger shot at 8PM tonight and my egg retrieval is at 7:45AM on Thursday. Transfer is set for Sunday. My E2 is only 641......so hopefully it will keep rising and be well over 1000 at retrieval.

Please keep us in your prayers and I'll post how many eggs were retrieved on Thursday and a fertilization report on Friday!!

Today was my day 5 ultrasound (after stimming) I was really worried and while there saw one patient leave who looked like they were crying, and heard one through the walls.......they are so darn thin......that things didn't look so good. And as I sat there thinking what if I was rushing this ivf, or trying so hard that maybe it wasn't His time for us to have more children. But then out of no where......I know it was Him, and your prayers that comforted me as I thought and prayed "This is all You, this is in Your hands, no matter what I know that whatever happens I will be ok"....and then I looked up at the ceiling (the kind of drop ceiling tile that has a gazillion little dots) and reaffirmed my mustard seed faith as I entered the ultrasound room.

Today the doctor had an intern who did my initial exam....guess that they have to learn somewhere......but that wand can be discomforting if you don't know what you are doing. My lining is good 6 or more and showing good signs of triple stripe. My right ovary has 2-3 measurable follies with a few smaller ones. My left one he couldn't find but the RE took over and found it and it had 2 follies and some smaller ones. I got the call back this afternoon that my E2 was 127!! Our ivf in Nov at day 5, I was only at 98.5. They told me they were happy with my number as anything over 100 at this point was good.

I go back on Sunday.......please continue praying for all my follies to grow and become mature. It would be great to go in on Sunday and see those smaller ones catching up. Last time I didn't have many follies and I am excited and surprised that we had some this time (I just didn't feel any action going on down there but apparently there is)

Hello!! We just wanted to update on our upcoming invitro cycle. I started the stim shots on Sunday (hopefully we will have lots of follicles on my next appointment). I went for my baseline appointment last Friday and I had one follicle already. We are hoping that we will have at least 10 or more around the same size. I am on a higher dose of medicine this time so it means I have 4 shots per day, thankfully the needles are small (like insulin needles). Our doctor is hoping that the higher dosage will help us have more eggs at retrieval. Please pray for us and we will update you after our Thursday appointment at 9:45AM!

There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss... and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics, or money, or that I have read more books, but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.

I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed.

I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.

I will notice everything about my child.

I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold, and feed him, and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot, or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to, or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend, and sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed.

I have succeeded.

I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.

I listen.

And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.

I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes, I will be a wonderful mother.

(Author Unknown)

Before you read this, it is important to note that Elliott has never bitten an apple (even though we've tried hundreds of times since Cooper loves them) Anyway, this is a TRUE story and I thought you'd get a big laugh out of it!!! Last night our computer had locked up and I was in the process of rebooting it. The boys were playing with their Thomas the Tank train table and running around. I called for the boys to come upstairs to the bonus room but neither of them came but I could hear them playing and they sounded like they were having a "good time". I called out that it was time to get a bath and play in the "bubbles" when Cooper came upstairs and replied "OK, lets clean up the apples". Uh? Apples? Oh no, they've gotten into the pantry and I rush to the kitchen with Cooper holding onto my finger. And there, on the kitchen floor was Elliott surrounded by 14 apples (yes I counted them) and each and every apple had one or two bites taken out of them!! Cooper had one in his hand and Elliott had one in his and they continued to chow down on the additional two apples!! Cooper apparently was teaching Elliott how to bite an apple and Elliott would bite his apple but liked to bite the area that had the skin already off. It was all I could do not to burst out laughing as I picked up the apples and cleaned up the "juice" all over the floor! I called Jonathan at work and told him what his little guys were up to and he laughed and said they are the Apple Dumpling Gang! I can't believe I didn't get a picture.....it would have been priceless!!

This weekend was awesome. We had a cookout on Saturday and the weather and gathering of good friends and family was fantastic. My parents, aunt Sue & uncle Charlie, cousins (Buddy, Tiffany, Mandy, Brooke, and Hannah) and former neighbors (Miss Lynn, Becca and Liz)came over to enjoy some steaks and various side salads. I can't believe how many people we packed into my dining room at one time (10 of us around the table at any one given time) We had people eating in the kitchen and the living room too! I ate so much I felt like I could go into a FOOD coma!! The kids played outside in their new air maze and had a blast. They really enjoy going in and out of the maze and crawling around the tunnels. They really enjoyed having their Memaw and PaPaw down for a visit too. Cooper would come over and tell them "to come on" and proceed to drag them to the playhouse and to the maze to play with him. Saturday night they enjoyed playing indoors as Papaw would hide and they would go running to find them and get "scared" when he would jump out and say "RAH!" Then he, Elliott and Cooper would run all around the kitchen island chasing each other. On Sunday we all went to the park and the boys spent a lot of time just swinging. We have thought about getting them a swingset in our backyard but the park is just a short walk away that I don't think we'd go as much if we had it in our backyard! We went over to my cousins house for a visit and my parents got a tour from Hannah and Brooke. We are waiting for Hurricane Ophelia to come ashore this week. This will be our first hurricane in our new house. Thankfully it will only be category one but those tend to be so slow that they can do a lot of damage too. We've had few shower bands come through this morning but expect by this evening that the wind will be picking up. We've also heard from a few hurricane Katrina survivors that are interested in our house in Robersonville. We are hopeful that our house will go to someone who truly needs it and will love it as much as we did.

Update time......I have officially withdrawn from college. Completely my own decision, it wasn't the classes, the finances, the craziness.....it was my kids. I am not ready to leave them. I looked at them and played with them......when it dawned on me. My kids do not care what degree I hold, how much money I make.....they just want to be loved and have quality time spent with them. Sure there are a lot of women who can cook, clean, work, go to school and raise a family. I am not one of them. I am making a choice that I cannot be selfish about my wants and needs right now. Maybe it's Hurricane Katrina that has me reprioritizing things in my life. I don't know. But I am at peace with my decision. I may go back to school, but for now I am going to stay at home with my boys. I feel so extremely blessed to be able to stay at home with them. I look forward to the many new things they will be doing and learning as they enter their toddler years. This really is the best job ever!! Other news.....Invitro time is approaching. I had my lab work done on Friday and will await results. Today I start birth control pills, which is so weird to me to have to take when you are trying to conceive (but it so they can control when I ovulate) I have to have the rest of my tests done this week and then we go from there. We are still getting finances together, so any and all prayers are appreciated. Another note.....We are trying to find a charitable organization to donate our house in Robersonville to Hurricane survivors. If you know of any, please let me know. We've been in contact with several organizations and are awaiting responses from the "people in upper management". Our house has a small mortgage still on it, and we would need the organization to take care of that. I wish we could just "give it away" but it would be a blessing to us and the family that gets it. I just want to make sure we donate correctly so that the family that gets the house does not get taxed on such a gift. I do know that the charitable organization gets the tax write off if they pay our mortgage so it does make our house appealing to them, plus it isn't a large expense. I think that some families from LA or MS would love the small town atmosphere and it would be a fresh start on a new life. The house is plenty big that even two families could stay there. If I can find an organization, then I am going to ask area businesses to see what they can donate to help a family. I'll keep you posted on this as new information comes in. On a lighter note.....something funny. Cooper is now fascinated with putting things in the toilet. And I wish it was potty training kind of stuff.....but yesterday I found a candle in the toilet......which was pretty funny. They are quite mischievious and I have to keep a good eye on them these days. We're going to add water to our fish tank this week and order our fish. Something says that I will be finding things in that tank too.......LOL!! We also ordered their undersea adventure airmaze for the back yard. Come on over next weekend and romp around in it with the boys....it looks like it will be lots of fun! here is what it looks like http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/images/B0000AJN2N/ref=dp_product-image-only_0/103-0502571-4927065?%5Fencoding=UTF8&n=295058&s=toys That's about all for now......Hopefully I can update more frequently in the future!