I am going to be grateful for these moments.....the next few days will be hard....my sister is in labor now and looks like she'll deliver tonight or tomorrow...the 15th. The 15th....the day they performed surgery and took my tube and last baby out 3 years ago...and now this. Looking back her first born was born on a date close my first loss too Ouch...still hurts after all this time.....I guess that is why I haven't been able to purchase a baby gift for this little one yet. I am happy for her.....but I guess the loss lingers made me put it off.

I've been blessed to turtle sit for loggerhead nests over the past week. I was able to dig and excavate one nest last night and retrieve several 13 baby turtles from the hard sand that would not have made it and 5 more that were literally hatching out of their shells as I took them out. One little turtle did not make it and was partially out of its shell. This week marks the last time I was pregnant three years ago....on the 15th I found out my pregnancy was ectopic. I was overwhelmed with emotion last night that I was part of this incredible experience and watch these little ones make it and how much they have to go through just to survive. I really feel God had me there as this has lifted my heart during a time marked with sadness. And for this I am grateful!

Some days Elliott just surprises us with the things that he does and it is easy to get lost in his achievements and forget that he has behaviors, ticks, etc. Today was not one of those days....He was very moody and challenging towards the end of the day. He was tired and would not go to the bathroom (which when he has to go #2, he tends to get very cranky). He was an extremely strong willed child and due to his behaviours he was not allowed to go to the pool with his brother after dinner. Oh my word, what followed was enough to make SuperNanny show up on our door. One of his worst episodes to date. I was really feeling like the worst mother in the world and he was trying so hard to push my buttons. He finally fell asleep but woke up when I put him in his pj's and began again....thankfully he did say sorry and started to stop before falling asleep again. I don't know how tomorrow morning will be and I am so exhausted that I am going to bed at 9:33! These are the days that literally drain me. Dh was here with us and I can tell he has no idea how to handle him and that they are like oil and water when he has an episode. I worry sometimes that this will cause strain in our marriage.

Elliott has received another evaluation from TEACCH Pervasive Developmental Disorder NOS still an Autism Spectrum Disorder. Which basically means he doesn't fit any one diagnosis on the spectrum with meeting more of the DSM-IV for the disorder rather than being "atypical" and we received a more thorough results than he when he was diagnosed at age 4. TEACCH evaluated him on Monday and it was well worth the wait to find out more about ways we can help him. We have two support groups that meet once each month (one if for higher functioning and the other is for limited functioning) Elliott falls in the middle...he does not qualify for Aspergers since he has speech delay and excells on imaginative play.

The plus side is that the psychologist said she could not think of anything to suggest to us that we were not already doing. She said due to all his extra therapies and additional supports at home that he is where he is developmentally.

On an additional note...I kept fighting the insurance company for our 2800 bill for the first diagnosis (appeal after appeal) and finally had it covered all but 474.00! Which will get cut in half since dh works for the hospital so it will be 237....and quite the relief since all his OT and PT bills are coming in....we've met our deductible which made his speech therapy only 6.03 per visit but each month we have 500 bills for the other therapies....part of which is copays.

Our first worker did not work out...she wanted to babysit more than perform developmental therapy. We are waiting to interview more individuals and hope that we can get someone with some experience or training with autism rather than just early childhood education (college students).

Jonathan is taking it harder for some reason....worried Elliott won't be able to go to school or college....I have to remind him all the time, that we are laying down a foundation and that there is no stone we won't turn to help him along the way. I don't see any reason to worry about college right now.

That's an update on us for now

Tonight after dinner, our family decided (mom encouraged of course) to grab an instrument and proceed to walk a block around our neighborhood in a parade. Elliott grabbed the cymbals, Cooper played harmonica, Mom (me) shaking the maracas, and Dad with the bells. We were quite a musical troop and as we walked and laughed, our neighbors came out to wave and to clap for us. We even had one that thought we were the icecream truck!! Elliott wanted to walk down our main street and we had cars that pass us stop and wave! I am sure some thought we were off our rockers, but when is the last time you've been childlike and played music with your kids?? It was great fun and I highly recommend it. Who needs a wii when we have our own version of "Rockband".....And the band plays on!

http://autismsocietync.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=346455&lis=0&kntae346455=EA0A3E906468461280ED2852FE10781F&supId=287757850

Join our team the WonderTwinz.......you can donate directly on the link below or click on our team and you can sponsor Cooper and Elliott.....We'll be competing in the 5K Run/Walk and the Kids Dash!!

http://autismsocietync.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=346455&lis=0&kntae346455=EA0A3E906468461280ED2852FE10781F&supId=287757850

Here you go mommies - a different kind of survey for a change - it's all about your first born! Just copy and paste it in a new note for yourself! Make sure you tag me when you post it!

Let's see how much you remember!

1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED?
Yes, very much so...our second invitro

2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME?
yes

3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS?
Very excited and anxious since we thought I was miscarrying and found out that I was carrying twins~

4. WAS ABORTION AN OPTION FOR YOU?
no

5. HOW OLD WERE YOU?
34

6. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT?
PAS (peed on a stick)....Twice, before confirming it at the Doctor's office

7. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST?
Jonathan (husband) and then we called my mom to tell her that their were two (after that I think she had a plane sky write it in Stafford to alert everyone we knew...just kidding)

8. DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX?
yes, and they were more than happy to help us out when the time came (typical boys...both side by side as if they were already "comparing" hahaha)

9. DUE DATE?
for a singleton May 21, 2003....but when they saw I had twins they wanted me to make it past 34 weeks, I made it to 39!

10. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS?
yes, mainly from the prenatals...had to take them in the evenings

11. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE?
Steak...I was Phoebe from friends....hadn't had steak or red meat in over 9 years and then that is all I wanted....that and I did consume a Dairy Queen icecream cake every week for at least 4 months.)

12. WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST?
Being on bedrest for close to 5 months, there is only so much lifetime TV a gal can watch!

13. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CHILD'S SEX?
both were boys

14. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING?
We'd ask everyone what they thought I was carrying, everyone thought boy/girl..we'd tell them no...then they'd say girl/girl....again we'd say no...then they'd say boy/boy? (as if there was another option lol!) I am so glad for my little men :)

15. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY?
way too many....I was 130 prior to the ivf and the last time I was weighed I was 220, two days later I was in the hospital and that number is unknown to me. So at least 90 pounds.

16. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER?
yes...several (one very early since I was placed on bedrest)

17. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW?
I knew, we had to plan all of them as I could only be on my feet for so long

18. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY? First we thought we were losing our pregnancy, then told we were having twins, then they saw what may have been a third..yes triplets. Put on bedrest due to cervical shortening.

19. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH?
Pitt Memorial Hospital NC

20. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR?
I went in on Tuesday Morning....nothing happened all day....Stopped induction. Started labor all on my own on Wednesday, still not much happening...induced again that afternoon....that evening was told I was probably going to deliver Thursday morning but the boys had other plans and at 1AM on Thurday I knew they were ready to come out..So I like to tell everyone I was in labor for 3 days. When actually I was the most uncomfortable from 7PM on Wednesday night until the epidural :) then I couldn't feel a thing!

21. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL?
my husband and my parents

22. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH?
We were in the operating room (just in case anything went wrong) So I was limited to just two, although my DR would have allowed more. My husband and my friend Lynn video taped (just the cord cutting and the babies). My parents and my mother in law were anxiously waiting in my hospital room.

23. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION?
Natural...yes, you read it right....20 minutes apart...3 pushes for each of them!

24. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN?
I couldn't take anything...I was breastfeeding!

27. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH?
7lbs. 7 oz and 6lbs 3 oz.

28. WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN ?
May 8 2003 2:35AM and 2:55AM

30. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER?
Cooper Riley and Elliott Jackson

31. HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST BORN TODAY?
5 years old <3