Giving Thanks Day 30 ~ Experiences of Life

Today I am thankful, and truly grateful, for all the experiences of life. ~ Marianne Williamson wrote "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you NOT to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel unsure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. As we let our own Light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." Being thankful for this experience, seeing that I have so many things to be thankful for, and so many things I may have overlooked, and even seeing that some painful experiences also helped me to learn and grow has been so rewarding. It's easy to be thankful for the good things. It's easy to think about all the things that bring you joy and happiness, but what about our troubles? How can we turn the stressful, heartache, setbacks in life as a blessing? The sad moments, the ones we don't talk about, the ones that can be overwhelming...these are life experiences that help to shape us and make us who we are. To see so many in pain, with the loss of a loved one, loss of a job, a home...it's hard to give thanks when times are hard. It is sometimes in the most difficult times of our life that we grow. To also be thankful for the "random moments" the "ordinary" moments, the ones that we overlook or never paid as much attention to as we should. My so called not so perfect life, where at first the focus was on the prize, the goal, what will I achieve in life, was transformed into realizing that the little moments along the way the good, and the bad were trials and tests, and allowing me to become. Become what? I am still on the is journey, one where " when we walk to the edge of all the light we have, and we take that step into the darkness of the unknown, we must believe that one of two things will happen... there will be something for us to stand on or we will be taught to fly." At the beginning of this year my family participated in a Pay if Forward, Random Act of Kindness experience. It started off a fun, joyful act of giving to others in hopes that they to would pay it forward and a chain reaction would become a wave of kindness that never ended. It ended up being one that gave so much more than we could have imagined over the 40 days of Lent. And here at the end of the year, participating in the 30 days of Giving Thanks has put things even more into perspective. Discovering that there are so many things to be thankful for, that 30 days is not nearly long enough. In writing about what has touched my life or random things I was thankful for, this simple opportunity to give "Thanks" has taught me so much...reflecting on my life's experiences and reigniting a spark from within. I set out at the beginning of the year in hopes our random acts of kindness could "change the world" and in the end reflecting on what I was thankful for all these moments have changed me. Little did I know that this was the frame work that would help me when life's obstacles were thrown my way. These experiences of this past year came full circle, you can't plan for life's moments, you just get to experience them. Reminds me of a quote from Gilda Radner "I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity." I am grateful to those of you that have been shared in my experiences from this year, and even commented, shared your thoughts or memories and allowed me to let my light shine as I posted these past 30 days of being thankful. This ordinary experience was anything but---it was extraordinary. I look forward to unwrapping this gift of my life, giving thanks for all the blessings, and treasuring all experiences and the extra "ordinary" moments that have passed and are yet to come! ♥

What are you doing with your light?

“Look at how a single candle can both defy and define the darkness.”  ― Anne Frank

(turn off the music at the bottom of my blog in order to watch this video)

Giving Thanks Day 29 ~ Those who Reignite the Flame Within Me

Today I am thankful, and truly grateful for those that have lit my flame. Albert Schweitzer wrote "At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.” I can look back on my life and think of certain people who have sparked or reignited the flame within me, those that give you back your sight and guide you back to your path when you've become lost. Those individuals that saw potential when I wasn't focused, those that pushed me to go further when I felt I was doing all that I could, those that saw my light and could see my flame was about to go out. My life has been forever enriched by the support that has come from friends, family, teachers, pastors, and even complete strangers. It takes a very special person who realizes when someone is at a vulnerable time in their life that reaches out to help when there are so many out there that would welcome in kicking you when you are down. I couldn't even begin to thank all these people in my life, but today I think of times where my life could have gone in so many different directions. Some have touched my life briefly, yet their words echo on. Some have touched my life many times over the years, each time helping my flame to grow brighter. There have been some that were protectors, whether someone tried to fan the flame, or that could see when my flame was in danger of being snuffed out and shielded my light. When I look back on my life, these are the people who believed in me, made me feel special, or have helped me grow and learn....those are my flame lighters and igniters....people that touch your life in such a way that you are never, ever the same...Those that you will never forget. Maybe they gave you self confidence, a compliment, listened, celebrated your joys, encouraged you, picked you up, eased your pain, turned you around, or joined in locking arms with you as you went along your path. It makes me think about my favorite movie of all time...The Wizard of Oz. How many times in life have we felt like Dorothy....where are life has literally felt displaced and we are somewhere we've never been and lost, just trying to find "home". When along comes some very special people that are on our path that help guide us, or just join us along the way. They may be needing to find their way too. And together you set off on this quest together. They share in your journey along the way, they keep you company, and they keep you on your path. There are dangers along the way, those that set out to keep you from getting there, and sometimes we may not even see them, but our "igniters" are there and they protect us, they fight for us. Sometimes we are locked away and they come in to rescue us. And in the end we also share in protecting them from the very same dangers. These are the special people along our life's path that help us when we need a "brain", or a "heart", or need "courage", and these are the special people that help us find our "home". And once we get to see "The Wizard" (our Faith) we discover that along the way our light has been in us all along, and we recognize that there are those that have made this possible along the way. People that you've felt you've known your whole life, no matter when they joined you along your life's path. People that when they are gone, you long for just one more moment, one more conversation, or wish they never had to go. The part when Dorothy is saying goodbye to all her friends as she is going home, and she looks at Scarecrow and says "I think I'll miss you most of all" (makes me cry each and every time)....that's when Dorothy realizes she may have been lost but without all of them she would not be able to see that she has had the power in her all the time to go home, that along her path, they were all lost, and they found her just as much as she found them.......sometimes you have to be lost in order to be found ♥ Today I am thankful for those who have "found" me and I thank God that our paths crossed, or intertwined, your spark has ignited my flame and made it what it is today ♥

Giving Thanks Day 28 ~ Keep Your Dreams Alive

Today I am thankful, and truly grateful for Dreams. Not just the ones that we wake from and remember the details of...but the dreams we have in our hearts. The inspiring dream of something we have always wanted to do or try. Maybe it's a hobby, maybe it's something you enjoy, a trip you want to take, a job you've always wanted, a gift you've been longing for, sometimes forever chasing them, whatever it maybe...your hopes your dreams, never give up on them. We not only have dreams for ourselves, but for our children. The key is to keep our dreams alive. Too often life, crazy, chaotic, stressful life, chips away at our dreams or leaves little to no time for our dreams. Some of us put them on a shelf, pulling them down from time to time, blowing the dust off of them and we hold them for a moment and remember and say "One day" and we place them back up on the shelf. There are some that seem to live a dream, I get this one often about spending our summers and weekends at the beach. It is a dream, and something I am very thankful for and blessed with. It's one of those dreams come true, one of those dreams that sat on a shelf for years. We toyed with the idea of getting a beach crash pad, from time to time we looked with a realtor, sat on beach vacations dreaming at the Homes catalogs and the houses that were for sale. Oh yes, my dream was a big beach house, you know the kind like in Nights of Rodanthe....shabby chic with a bed and breakfast cottage like feel to it. Of course it would have lots of rooms so I could have guests come to stay at any given notice. Then one day we took that dream off the shelf and said "let's do this". No we didn't end up with the Big House on the beach....but a small studio condo on the ocean. We took the chance, at first thinking we'd rent the condo out and get a bigger place in the coming years...we thought of it as an investment. We rented it out a few times (as we were required to because we purchased a rental property and it had already been rented prior to our purchase), then that fall we started going down and spending weekends there. Wow, it is amazing that crossing that bridge on a Friday and spending just two days felt like spending a week there. It was beyond refreshing. The kids had so much fun that by the following summer we decided to see if they would like an entire summer down there. At first we thought it might get "old" or they'd get "bored". Nothing could be further from the truth. We have met wonderful families that come back year after year, and we've had many wonderful memories with them. We've had friends and family who have come to stay or visit at our condo (sometimes we all squish into our condo, and other times they get their own place here). We've built sandcastles with knights, pirates and army men. We've watched countless sunrises and sunsets. We've found thousand of shells, and even started an Auger collection (it is usually a race each year to see who finds the first Auger of the summer). We've enjoyed hours of fun in the sun and surf...boogie boarding, skim boarding, jumping waves, riding rafts, and surfing. We've visited nearby places and small towns, touring the aquarium, reenactments at the Fort, chartering sailboats, seeing wild mustangs. We've enjoyed early morning and late night swims in the pool, had pizza pool parties, and ice cream socials. We've ridden our bikes on the bike trail to the pier, and through neighborhoods spotting deer along the way. We have enjoyed surf fishing and watching fishermen reel in their catches (we have yet to catch anything). We've watched dolphin jumping and playing in the waves. We've spent countless nights under the stars on a blanket at turtle nests.  We've watched loggerhead and green hatchlings boil out of their nest and scamper down to the ocean. After that first summer on the beach, I said "we could have rented out our condo and made money...but I'd rather make memories". That is exactly what we did. It is a dream and one that came with hard work and sacrifice. I never could have imagined that something so small would have such a huge impact on my family's life, it was an investment of a different sort.  No it's not the multi-million dollar dream home we would drool over in the Homes Magazines...but it is worth far more...our condo is tiny, cozy but packed with so many memories, so much joy, happiness, excitement and fun that I could never put a price tag on it. Henry David Thoreau wrote "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler." Anything is possible, if you just believe...Never give up on your dreams, don't wait any longer, take one off the shelf, dust it off and make it come alive ♥

Giving Thanks Day 27 ~ Forgiveness

Today I am thankful and truly grateful for forgiveness. Such a powerful gift, to forgive and be forgiven. I have struggled so many times with this, to truly forgive....the forgetting part was what kept me tangled in the emotional cobwebs of the past. I have struggled and continue to struggle at times with this.....with not being able to understand, or compartmentalize things, or feel that I was being understood....to be able to receive it...to truly let it go. Forgiveness is to let go of the hurt, to stop "feeding the beast" so to speak, you take responsibility for your "stuff" and you don't take ownership of what is not. Forgiveness is not something that you do for the other person. Forgiveness is something that you do for you. There are many times the words I'm sorry are spoken, it takes a strong person to say those words, and even a stronger person to forgive. Releasing the past and embracing forgiveness, you become refreshed and renewed. Forgiveness is one word with so much weight, it has the power to transform and change whatever you are going through. It means so much whether you are giving it or receiving it. Sometimes forgiveness can come too late, maybe on a deathbed, or not at all...is the pain you are holding onto worth more than the freedom of forgiveness? I am not saying it is easy, I am just saying it is possible....we all have the power to forgive. But no one comes close to the kind of forgiveness that comes from God......the greatest Forgiver. Wouldn't the world be a better place if we all loved and forgave the way He does? The song lyrics "I Loved You at Your Darkest".....so powerful, to be forgiven for the words we say, the things we do, or wrong doings, the unthinkable, when you feel broken, or unloved, or your world is out of control, and you think you are undeserving...I am most thankful for HIS gift, I did not earn it, I did not deserve it, I surrendered all...He loves me not matter what, His forgiveness is a gift that I cherish. I have always loved this poem “People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway. If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway. If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway. The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway. For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.” ♥ This Season of being Thankful, and in the spirit of Giving, may we also keep Forgiveness in our Hearts ♥

Giving Thanks Day 26 ~ Being Happy

Today I am Thankful, and truly Grateful for being happy. It's one of the most important thing in the world, to enjoy your life and just to be happy. Being happy doesn't mean that life is perfect, it just means you have decided to look past the imperfections...that you have all you need to choose joy inside you. No matter what I am going through in life, I hold onto and focus on what makes me happy. Sometimes there are smiles through the tears and hurt, sometimes there are memories and moments that make you happy just thinking about them, I always try to choose joy because life is just to short to be anything less than happy. I post uplifting, positive messages here on facebook as much as I can. They inspire me, lift me up, and keeping me going and I hope they spread positive vibes to others who may need a smile or to be lifted up in times of need. Almost two years ago, facebook had a fun "survey" going around where you wrote down a list of 25 things you were most happy for. This is what I wrote: 
1. The laughter and special moments shared with my boys I could fill up all 25 of these with happiness I have just with them! 
2. Just being silly, the kind of silly where you are laughing so hard and cannot stop! 
3. going to church....devotional time and prayer...the peaceful feeling always makes me happy. 
4. A sunrise at the beach 
5. Being with my family 
6. Hanging out with my best gal pals anywhere at anytime..the laughter, the fun...priceless. 
7. Painting on canvas 
8. Capturing a memory in a photograph....I am seldom without my camera (I think it could be my security blanket) I love pictures...looking at old ones in an album and taking new ones! 
9. Krispy Kremes Hot Fresh Now Sign....because it is followed by squeals of delight (usually from me, and at least a dozen doughnuts)....sheer bliss. 
10. And...I'll just say it....an orgasim...not just any kind...but the Meg Ryan with Billy Crystal in the restaurant scene from "When Harry Met Sally"...the kind that makes you want to smoke a cigarette afterwards...and you don't even smoke....I seriously can't believe all of you made a list without listing that LMAO 
11. Gardening...planting flowers and plants...which is why my hands are always in distress....I love playing in the dirt! I seriously love watching a rose bud unfold and the smell of a jasmine vine..... 
12. My fish tank....I love all my cichlids 
13. Poetry.....I love it 
14. Building sandcastles on the beach with the boys.....the water, fun in the sun....pure happiness. 
15. Watching loggerhead turtles hatch on the beach with a starlit sky....miraculous moments! 
16. A bubble bath. 
17. A great conversation. 
18. Hot chocolate....oh who am I kidding here...any kind of chocolate...as long as it is quality chocolate...there is a difference (again I am surprised no one said this either lol) 
19. Trips to Walt Disney World 
20. Christmas....everything about it, from decorating, to get togethers, the shopping, the baking....everything! 
21. Rain on a tin roof. 
22. Hearing my favorite songs...and listening to acoustic music. 
23. A glass or two of a really great wine 
24. The smell of a a baby after a bath...I love the smell of Johnson and Johnson's No More Tears....
25. Love, simple and pure love :) 

John Lennon sums this up best with one of my favorite quotes: “When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.” Think about what makes you happy...you can make a list, or say one thing you are grateful or that makes you happy each night before you go to bed. How often in our busy lives do we take time to pause and be thankful for what we appreciate in our life? I am definitely going to add to my list and making this a priority to focus on what makes me happy. It really is the key to life ♥

Giving Thanks Day 25 ~ Being Comfortable In My Own Skin

I am thankful, and truly grateful for being comfortable in my own skin. Yes, even my weathered, laugh lines, sun kissed, brow lines, crows feet skin. I am talking about being blissfully content in your own skin. At various times in my life I thought was happy in the skin I was in. As, I grow older I realize that I am becoming more comfortable and more aware of what contentment feels like. In my thirties, I began to see things so much more differently. Then in my forties, I had a moment of self actualization, where I realized who I was and what I was really about. Not that I haven't had this before, but you will know it when you feel that moment.....serendipity. You turn off the autopilot, the one where you've been going through life like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day, and you turn on your authentic self. You turn off the insecurities, the intolerance, the self doubt, unhealthy habits...and you turn on positive self talk, take chances, challenge your self and begin to love yourself in a way you have never had in the past. You begin to live life out loud, with real joy, celebrating the moments and realizing your true potential. You get to know yourself, truly know yourself, in ways that most will never realize, and you begin to live your life differently, because you see things so much different than you have in the past. You find your inner peace and serenity. You begin to live a life filled with passion, seeing the positive even when there is no light to be found. You cultivate your spirit, start taking care of you, and loving the skin you are in. You become aware of your dreams, you tap into your inner child and you take on life in a zen like fashion. You have a zest for life, you see what is really important, and begin a journey of self discovery. You become increasingly aware of what you are all about, the you that you were always meant to be. You take responsibility, start making changes, through trial and error you keep going, never giving up.... and you become self empowered, content in life...You may feel at this moment you are done...but it is only the beginning ♥ Natalie Goldberg's thoughts on this compared to that of baking a cake "When you bake a cake, you have ingredients: sugar, flour, butter, baking soda, eggs, milk. You put them in a bowl and mix them up, but this does not make a cake. This makes goop. You have all these ingredients, the details of your life, but just to list them is not enough. You must add the heat and energy of your heart. You can't just mix the ingredients in a bowl; they have no life. You must become one with the details in love or hate...Ovens can be very cantankerous sometimes, and you might have to learn ways to turn your heat on. And you are never sure once the heat begins whether you will get a devil's food or an angel food cake" ♥ The ingredients are the different parts of your life, the good, bad, past, present, hopes, dreams, etc. Putting them all into a bowl, makes a gooey mess...It's up to you to turning on the intense heat and passion, and energy that transforms your life ingredients into cake. Then you turn your life into a life worth living, you start seeing and living with your whole heart and soul...blissfully content in your own skin.