I have more good moments than bad these days. My body seems to think it is still pregnant.....I have a poochy belly as if I am 2 months pregnant. I guess it is still all those hormones! Jonathan and I feel that this m/c was a miracle, we never thought we could conceive again without ivf/icsi. We will be trying and just see what happens. We had been doing that for the past 2 years without any success, but I've been reading that I am more fertile now. I am going to try and not get on a month to month roller coaster of emotions and over analyzing every symptom. I believe with all of my heart that we will be blessed again. I just can't believe that I am sane after losing 10 babies during the course of our 10 year marriage.....God's grace is surely keeping me full of peace! Despite everything, I have never lost hope and seem to bounce back. But there is always that fear that I'll never see two lines on an hpt or deliver another healthy child. I feel so blessed that God chose me and Jonathan to parent our twin boys. They are more than just a blessing or miracle to us.....but it still doesn't make the losses any easier. Sometimes I think about those that have lost children of all ages and their loss is of a memory that they have of a face and times they had together.......and I get sad thinking of all the babies we've lost, wondering if they were boys/girls, what they would have looked like, what their personalities would be like and I get overwhelmed that so many of us have losses.......But I am so grateful for Hannah's Prayer forum because I know there are so many who understand and will not judge.....especially when my feelings are so raw at times.