We went to see "Nobody's Perfect" at ECU tonight.  It was a storyline about a deaf girl in the fourth grade and a new girl who comes to the school that appears to be perfect.  Then very early on you see this newcomer wants to steer clear of her "impaired" classmate and says no when she is invited to a birthday party for her.  Then the two unlikely matches get paired up to enter a science fair and while they are working on their project, the "perfect" one's autistic brother appears.  Oh my heart...I was a mess in tears.  The brother was severely autistic and could not talk but during the show, he interacted with the deaf girl and learned to sign.  Heartstrings pulled in every direction.  The girl that was deaf was talking to her brother and said how she felt sad...and he said sad that he has Autism?  She said no...said that his sister treated him as if he was not there.  The brother said how he could understand how she felt, that having someone who is so special makes it hard to be perfect.  How I wish the boys were able to get more meaning out of the moments that transcended from this point onwards. 

I often think about how Cooper feels about the attention his brother receives because of his special talents.  How much does he recognize that his brother is different....it doesn't seem that he sees his brother in any other way but just as he is.  Simple, loving....unconditional.  We talked with the boys after the play about Elliott being like the boy in the play autistic, on the spectrum, and that he could talk, etc. where the other boy could not.  He immediately asked....mom, what is autism.  Briefly giving a basic description where the only part that he remembered and immediately told Cooper "Mom said I have more senses than you" (talking about having more sensory uniquenessess)  It was quite a funny moment.  But it is the beginning of many conversations we will have and I pray that the bond these two share will be the bridge of hope for them both to understand and help others to be more aware, and have empathy when it comes to those with autism. 

We've had some challenging nights the past two nights....Elliott has had difficulty remembering his spelling words.....it is repetition, repetition, repetition.  I feel like sometimes my friends may hear the same stories over and over again...it's a part of my life and sometimes I get caught up in the craziness of it all and will share the same story again and again (or maybe it is part timers....and I am really losing it).  Losing our developmental therapist will be tough goings for our family.   She has been with us for a year.....and budget cuts have ceased funding for autism cases that are not on CAP.  Yes, it sucks to be us...but we do have private insurance which pays for OT and speech twice a week.  So I will be running both boys to therapy (where Cooper and I sit in the lobby making the most of our hours).  It is so hard watching your child struggle with some basic things and yet grasp complex issue....forget his spelling words but can pull memories from years ago and recount them as if it were yesterday.  His mind is full of curious wonder....and I attempt to feed it with hands on fun and learning as much as possible.  It is emotionally and physically taxing...but what parent wouldn't do this for their child?  My children are my life, going through all the pain and loss just to have them.....knowing what blessings they are.....appreciating all the uniqueness and wild wonder, and all the moments inbetween.  I know I am not perfect parent, I have less than stellar moments when Elliott has an "episode" or Cooper has "an attention seeker moment".   But I am driven to push on, to pick my battles and foster their creative minds.  I can't imagine life any different.