With Every Goodbye You Learn

Comes The Dawn

After a while, you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats
With the grace of a woman,
not the grief of a child,
And learn to build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight
And after a while, you learn That even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong
And you really do have worth
And you learn
and learn...
With every goodbye, you learn.

It is a yellowed newspaper cutout from Ann Landers that I've saved since 1983-84. I used to cut out every "Love is" cartoon

They are all saved in a scrapbook from 7th-10th grade. Movie stubs, school memorabilia, pictures of friends and saved notes from girlfriends....carefully folded in the many creative ways that girls did back then with letters. And it got me to thinking how we wrote our inner most thoughts and feelings so freely back then. How we shared so much in a note...who we had a crush on, silly comments about tv shows, etc. but it was how we tucked our words with intricate folds and tucks of paper into some origami art form. It was as if even then we knew above all guard your heart and what you shared. It is a flashback in time, nostalgic....and at the same time relevant. Which brings me back to the saved poem from Ann Landers column. To love, is to take the chance on another, without knowing where that will lead. How we guard our heart, but at some point we open our innermost thoughts and feelings to another...And then, like that origami paper, our hearts fold back for all to see. Some go on to have 75th wedding anniversaries, some end in divorce after a few short years. No matter how long or how short the relationship...Love brought two people together and in the end it's a matter if love is or was enough. For a moment think back to your first boy/girlfriend and remember the breakup...how devastated you felt, the tears, the heartache. How crushed and overwhelming the feelings were with the "goodbye". At a time when you were discovering yourself and finding your path into the world. I do not feel that the pain lessens with each goodbye...but you do learn. Which is why it is so important to plant your own garden, and decorate your soul, nurturing it as it grows, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers...you will plant your own ~ So if you meet the man or woman of your dreams, it doesn't mean your garden is more or less beautiful because of it. Plant your seeds of today so that your tomorrows will have strong roots and your garden will grow with every goodbye it will grow!