Day 31: Breathe, Seek, Play....Acceptance.

Temple Grandin said "You have got to keep autistic children engaged with the world.  You cannot let them tune out."  Elliott is retaking his benchmark testing today with pencil and paper to see if we can find out why his test scores fell despite all his progress since his seatwork and class tests do not reflect it. He didn't sleep well last night, woke up at 11:30 and went racing downstairs to find me, I met him at the top of the stairs as he ran back up and jumped into my arms. I know his mind is thinking of everything all at once, because when he woke up this morning he told me "Don't forget to print out our vocabulary words so we can practice tonight". He didn't remember waking up last night, and told us that 'we must be mistaken' that he didn't get up and run down the stairs ;) He didn't seem nervous at all, but I asked him if he wanted a special pencil to take, his eyes lit up. Praying for my little guy this morning, I told him that he will do amazing! We told him to circle words if he didn't understand them and to make a little sad face to the side of them so we will know if that may be impeding him from picking the correct answer. I am so proud of him and so appreciative of the school staff to hear my pleas to look into what may be causing this as well as looking into ways we can work as a team to help him with his progress! When we realized the paper and pencil test option may help with his upcoming Math benchmark (which is tomorrow), the school is going to see if that will be something that will help him with his Language Arts test as well. Hoping we find more answers in his answers today.

We talked last night about a game he loves to play called "Royal Revolt" that you start off the game without any help and when you defeat each level you are awarded with things which make your king and knights stronger for the next level. I told him how he walks into the school without the armor (as it applies to schoolwork/ease of knowledge) that most of the students wear. I told him how he goes in and he is doing the same thing as the other children and he does it without that armor and that makes him very brave. I told him every time he learns something new he advances to the next level and he gets stronger, just like the king on his game. I reminded him how many times it took him to defeat certain levels on his game, and that he didn't give up, he kept trying and eventually he advanced. He is wearing armor of a different kind today (and with all of your prayers, I know he's going to do well) I reminded him how far he's progressed in his reading alone....and he is keeping up with other students that he looked up to and thought he would never be able to be on their level. I know he is so proud of his accomplishments.

I realize that I have had Elliott's entire life to watch him learn, adapt and recognize when he progresses and regresses...My role as his mom has not just been to love, care and provide...but to try and figure out what can we do or try, how can we adapt to better assist him, and how can we help him rise up to meet the challenges when no assistance can be found (or will work)...I am so thankful for our incredible support system, those of you who have a child that struggles with similar issues, and those that who seek to learn more and gain a deeper understanding of autism and how it impacts not only the child but the family unit as a whole.  I am hopeful that our school will continue to work and explore all the ways that an autistic student learns and how our standardized school testing was not created with an autistic child in mind.  In California they allow children to take a modified standardized test to those with disabilities.  I often push Elliott to do everything any other child can do, but recognize that these tests may not be something his mind can process when he sees something as important but is not what a typical child would identify.  It is my hopes that both kind of tests can be given to children with disabilities...they are different not less. In contrast, I think most students if they viewed the world through Elliott's eyes would gain a deeper perspective and respect for just how much harder they work just to have acceptance.  We are so blessed with friends that "get" Elliott and enjoy having play dates and get togethers.  This support system of friends in school is part of the reason Elliott tries so hard, he wants to be just like them, though all the while he knows he is different.  We all just want to be accepted for who we are, we all think differently, feel things differently, experience the would differently...Life is constantly testing us all, we are going to make mistakes, we are going to have our apple cart overturned, we will experience times of smooth sailing, and times when we feel we are in a rut.  The world would be a better place if more would gain an understanding and awareness that it's ok to be different, it doesn't make us less.  After all, we are all just like Elliott, we just want to be accepted and loved for who we are.   And when we find that, we are truly blessed.  Thank you for your love and acceptance <3