Day 34: Breathe, Seek, Play....Kindness.

Be a grace giver not a stone thrower....we are all guilty of casting rocks. This Holy Week we will commit to random acts of kindness ♥ Heaven knows we can all use a little of that!

You know, everyone is guilty of it, but most recognize and realize that if you are pointing a finger at someone there are three fingers pointing back at yourself. It is sad when rocks are thrown by those you feel the closest too, or those that accuse of you of wrong doing and are guilty of doing the very same thing, or when someone is trying to do good they rip them down with false accusations...it happens all the time, pure madness....why do people have to be so cruel? I think more people would be shocked to know the truth about about those that throw stones on purpose, we've all known a "Judas" in our lives. 

I have found to forgive and move on...Looking back, I realize that my always wanting to see the good in people was both a blessing and a curse.  I didn't realize that I kept a toxic friendship for far too long, and at various times forgave when clearly I wasn't getting the message that this was not a friendship at all.  I wanted it to be, but it wasn't.  It wasn't until I was reunited with friends from school that I realized that I was holding onto something that wasn't healthy at all.  Jealousy and hatred spewed as a result, I was stronger and realized this was not a healthy friendship.  I began setting boundaries and even came close to forgiving this person once again.  But something held me back, I listened to my heart this time.  This was not a genuine friendship at all, and a dear friend reminded me “When people hurt you over and over, think of them like sandpaper. They may scratch and hurt you a bit, but in the end, you end up polished and they end up useless.” She told  and that this individual was distracting me from what I should be focusing on in my life.  She was right, I took time away from things that brought me joy, and our relationship was one sided...I was being used only when she needed me as she was not there when I needed her.  Constant disagreements where she would say "I didn't feel a certain way or that I thought a certain way" because after all she had known me for so long she felt she knew me best...I realized she didn't know me at all.   And I realized I made excuses for this relationship time and time again, and had other friendships and family relationships destroyed because of it.  Promises made, but never kept, and a backlash of cruelty that only a few know about.  It made me wonder why I was even friends with this person in the first place.  I saw the good, and I wanted to still see the good, but realized that the hurt was too great and walked away.  I didn't stoop to the level of casting stones back at her, when every fiber in me wanted to.  I realized it took me almost 20 years to "wake up" and those that didn't know will find out in their own time.  It was also very disheartening that people turned away as stones were being cast, and I realized that she hurt relationships with those that I loved and created drama in hopes that I would come back and need her friendship again.  I have learned a great deal from all of this, and will not allow myself to stay or return to a toxic relationship as a result.  Sometimes we are betrayed by someone we once loved and felt close to...but do not let that steal your joy of the real friendships you have.  "There comes a time in life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama, and people who create it... And surround yourself with the people who make you laugh so hard... That you forget the bad, and focus solely on good. After all life is too short to be anything but HAPPY."  Cast your stones, like your worries away...this sandpaper friend taught me the value of real friendships, how forgiveness is not just something we do for other people; we do it for ourselves, that sometimes being silent about things is golden; but sometimes speaking up and stopping the madness may be better; my trust is greater and I found great resolve that I have no control over what a person thinks; people believe what they want to believe not matter what...I am not perfect and I still struggle with the casting of stones, it is natural when you are hurt to cry out to want to fight back.  But thanks to the sandpaper, I have learned so much and am more polished as a result. 

I realize  that in the end only kindness matters.  As much as I'd like to surround myself with happy, bubbly people and pretend that bad things do not exist...when they do, is not realistic.  But what I can do from time to time, is lift someone up and pray for those who cast stones on purpose.  We have all had so much hurt in our lives, that a little kindness can mean so much.  And like last year, during Lent we found that the joy in kindness was shared and we gained so much out of the experience.  So that I am happy to pass that along.  Kindness is a stone anyone can throw and the ripple effect is priceless.  So if you do feel the urge to throw a stone...choose Kindness!