There are times I get so tickled at Elliott...tonight he is playing foosball right behind me (by himself) and he keeps saying "are you laughing at me....are you laughing at me....the red team is winning...I am the fastest spinner in the game...you give yourself a point...hahaha" oh my stars my sides are aching!! He often laughs at dinner (usually about something his friend Javion has said earlier that day) and he cannot get it under control. He just laughs and gets himself tickled in the process. It is an infectious kind of laugh. There are many nights where I wish it was the silly kind of laughter filled kind....but often it is in tears and frustration. I envy his carefree spirit and finding a way to laugh even when he doesn't know what else to do or feel. He gets into each moment so intensely, whether it is humorous or heartbreaking. When he is upset and angry he has such a hard time expressing emotions that leads to him being somewhat inconsolable. He sometimes will say when he gets in trouble, it isn't me mom...it is my autism. He is way smarter than he is given credit for. I know I expect more from him than most, I push him hard to keep trying and not give up. Can't is not a word he will know. I do not his diagnosis define him or our family. I know he can do anything that he sets his mind to, we just have to sometimes go around our elbow to get to our thumb. I don't give him a pass for being Autistic (sure we pick our battles some nights when there are things that set him off). Society will not give him a pass, even though more and more are empathetic towards individuals with Autism. It would be ideally to live in a world that sees Elliott as I see him. But after a night like tonight...it would be something to see the world the way Elliott sees it~